The Ten Commandments
(and Four Amendments) of E-Mail
- Thou shalt express thyself in brevity, for life is short, bandwidth is precious, and thy recipient is a busy person nigh unto death.
- Thou shalt proofread thy messages, for none do heed the sayings of the unschooled and attention is paid not unto the inept of communication.
- Thou shalt provide a signature file with thy communications, for the worthy sign their work and own up to it.
- Thou shalt send unto the multitudes via bcc, for they who are blessed to be on lists enjoy not the extended mailto.
- Thou shalt warn thy recipients of attachments, revealing the agency by which they were created, and like the mustard seed shall be their filesize.
- Thou shalt reply to inquiries like unto the speeding gazelle, for they who wouldst speak with thee via ones and zeroes expect this of thee.
- Thou shalt not traffic in spam, chain mail, or hoaxes, for the righteous clog not the Internet with dross and folly.
- Thou shalt not assume thy recipient hath the exact same apparatus and software as you, for manifold are the contraptions and conniptions of the Internet.
- Thou shalt empty thy mailbox frequently, as postmasters loveth not the packrat who fills the server with un-needful things.
- Thou shalt back up thy email like unto a paranoid, for boxes of beige are mortal like unto the mayfly, and will forget their contents if angered.
Amendment the First:
Thou shalt familiarize thyself as to the rules of the road, speaking not all in caps like unto the shouter in the wilderness.
Amendment the Second:
Thou shalt edit thy replies, giving just enough of what has gone before to clarify what the response sayeth.
Amendment the Third:
Thou shalt save copies of outgoing email, for the wise keep track of the hither and thither of communication.
Amendment the Fourth:
Thou shalt remember to watch thy digital tongue, as words by wire have permanence, and email security is as the Cheese of Switzerland in its holey-ness.
Presented as a public service by:
Mike Gould, In Charge, MondoDyne Web Works -
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